100 Quotes Every Geek Should Know

One thing that every geek can do is quote their favorite geek-culture media, whether it’s movies, books, television, theater or music. The GeekDads have tried to compile a list of such quotes for your enjoyment. This list is certainly not definitive. Indeed, it’s only the beginning! Feel free to add your own (clean) ones in the comments below.

1. “Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.” — Dennis the Peasant, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2. “Three rings for the Elven kings under the sky, seven for the Dwarf lords in their halls of stone, nine for the mortal men doomed to die, one for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, in the land of Mordor where the shadows lie. One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring the bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.” -LOTR
3. “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.” - HAL, 2001: A Space Odyssey
4. “Spock. This child is about to wipe out every living thing on Earth. Now, what do you suggest we do….spank it?” — Dr. McCoy, Star Trek: The Motion Picture
5. “With great power there must also come — great responsibility.” - Amazing Fantasy #15 (August 1962)
6. “If you can’t take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughtta go back home and crawl under your bed. It’s not safe out here. It’s wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it’s not for the timid.” — Q, Star Trek: The Next Generation “Q Who?”
7. “Five card stud, nothing wild. And the sky’s the limit” — Captain Jean Luc Picard, uttering the last line of the series, Star Trek: The Next Generation “All Good Things…”
8. “If you think that by threatening me you can get me to do what you want… Well, that’s where you’re right. But - and I am only saying that because I care - there’s a lot of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as tasty as the real thing.” - Chris Knight, Real Genius
9. “We’re all very different people. We’re not Watusi. We’re not Spartans. We’re Americans, with a capital ‘A’, huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We’re the underdog.” - John Winger, Stripes
10. “If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer.” - Ace Ventura, Ace ventura, Pet Detective

11. “I’m going to give you a little advice. There’s a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.” - Ty Webb, Caddyshack
12. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE - God (Douglas Adams), So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
13. “Some days, you just can’t get rid of a bomb!” - Adam West, Batman & Robin
14. “Bill, strange things are afoot at the Circle K.” - Ted, Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
15. “Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple.” - Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
16. “Didja ever look at a dollar bill, man? There’s some spooky shit goin’ on there. And it’s green too.” - Slater, Dazed and Confused
17. “Alright, alright alright.” - Wooderson, Dazed and Confused
18. “Heya, Tom’, it’s Bob from the office down the hall. Good to see you, buddy; how’ve you been? Things have been alright for me except that I’m a zombie now. I really wish you’d let us in.” Jonothan Coulton, Re: Your Brains
19. “Never argue with the data.” - Sheen, Jimmy Neutron
20. “Oooh right, it’s actually quite a funny story once you get past all the tragic elements and the over-riding sense of doom.” - Duckman (Jason Alexander)
21. “Fantastic!” - The Doctor (Christopher Eccleston), Doctor Who
22. “I must not fear. / Fear is the mind-killer. / Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. / I will face my fear. / I will permit it to pass over me and through me. / And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. / Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. / Only I will remain.” - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune
23. “This is the way society functions. Aren’t you a part of society?” - Kramer, Seinfeld
24. “Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we’re not back by dawn… call the president.” - Jack Burton, Big Trouble in Little China
25. “No matter where you go, there you are. ” - Buckaroo Banzai, Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension
26. “Do you know of the Klingon proverb that tells us revenge is a dish that is best served cold? It is very cold in space.” -Khan, ST:TWOK
27. “Ray, if someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!” - Winston, Ghostbusters
28. “Greetings, programs!” -Flynn, TRON
29. “I guess you picked the wrong god-damned rec room to break into, didn’t you?!” -Burt, Tremors
30. “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” -Darth Vader, Star Wars
31. “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no substitute for a good blaster at your side, kid.” -Han Solo, Star Wars
32. “Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try.” - Yoda, The Empire Strikes Back
33. “It’s a moral imperative.” - Chris Knight, Real Genuis
34. “Talk with your mouth full / bite the hand that feeds you / bite off more than you can chew / dare to be stupid” - Weird AL “dare to be stupid.”
35. “Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.” - Egon, Ghostbusters
36. “This episode was BADLY written!” -Gwen, Galaxy Quest
37. “Worst. Episode. Ever.” - Comic Book Guy, The Simpsons
38. “Goonies never say die.” -Mike, The Goonies
39. “Nothing shocks me–I’m a scientist.” - Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
40. “Bright light! Bright light!” - Gremlins
41. “The Road goes ever on and on/Down from the door where it began/Now far ahead the Road has gone/And I must follow, if I can/Pursuing it with eager feet/Until it joins some larger way/Where many paths and errands meet/And whither then? I cannot say.” - J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings
42. “Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!” - Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
43. “If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?” - Albert Einstein
44. “Wait a minute, Doc. Ah… Are you telling me you built a time machine… out of a DeLorean?” - Marty McFly, Back to the Future
45. “Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight blob of grease!” - C3PO, Star Wars
46. “I’d just as soon kiss a wookiee!” - Princess Leia, The Empire Strikes Back
47. “But one thing’s sure: Inspector Clay is dead, murdered, and somebody’s responsible.” - Detective, Plan 9 from Outer Space
48. “I know kung fu.” - Neo, The Matrix
49. “This is your receipt for your husband… and this is my receipt for your receipt.” - Officer, Brazil
50. “Your soul-suckin’ days are over, amigo!” - Elvis, Bubba Ho-Tep
51. “I don’t believe there’s a power in the ‘verse that can stop Kaylee from being cheerful. Sometimes you just wanna duct-tape her mouth and dump her in the hold for a month.” - Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly (episode: “Serenity” (pilot))
52. “Would you say I have a plethora of piñatas?” - El Guapo, ¡Three Amigos!
53. “Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!” Vizzini, The Princess Bride
54. “There is no Earthly way of knowing… which direction we are going. There is no knowing where we’re rowing, or which way the river’s flowing. Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is a hurricane a’blowing? Not a speck of light is showing so the danger much be growing. Are the fires of hell a’glowing? Is the grisley reaper mowing? YES! The danger must be growing for the rowers keep on rowing AND THEY’RE CERTAINLY NOT SHOWING ANY SIGNS THAT THEY ARE SLOWING!!” - Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
55. “Time…to die.” - Roy Batty, Blade Runner
56. “Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds” J. Robert Oppenheimer
57. “Check, please.” - Lone Starr & Barf, Spaceballs
58. “So say we all.” - Battlestar Galactica
59. “After very careful consideration, sir, I’ve come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks.” - General Beringer, WarGames.
60. “I am a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar.” - Wash, Serenity
61. “No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for.” - Young Frankenstein
62. “Ahh, a bear in his natural habitat: a Studebaker.” Fozzie, The Muppet Movie
63. “He’s dead, Jim.” McCoy, ST:TOS
64. “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint - it’s delicious!” - Kramer, Seinfeld
65. “Bring out your dead.” Monty Python and the Holy Grail
66. “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!” -Inigo, The Princess Bride
67. “Why a duck? Why-a no chicken?” - Chico Marx, Cocoanuts
68. “Redrum.” Danny, The Shining
69. “Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows.” - announcer, The Shadow radio drama
70. “We’re going to need a bigger boat.” - Chief Brody, Jaws
71. “Oooh, ahhh, that’s how it always starts. Then later there’s running and screaming.” - Ian Malcolm, The Lost World: Jurassic Park
72. “Greetings, my friend. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.” Criswell, Plan 9 from Outer Space
73. “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!” - President Merkin Muffley, Dr. Strangelove
74. “These aren’t the droids you’re looking for.” - Obi-Wan, Star Wars
75. “Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!” - Taylor, Planet of the Apes
76. “You maniacs! You blew it up! Oh, damn you! Damn you all to hell!” - Taylor, Planet of the Apes
77. “Klaatu barada nikto.” The Day the Earth Stood Still
78. “Monsters from the Id.” - Doc Ostrow, Forbidden Planet
79. “ET phone home.” - ET
80. “What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?” - Bridgekeeper, Monty Python and the Holy Grail
81. “We thought you was a toad!” - Delmar, O Brother Where Art Thou?
82. “Face it tiger, you just hit the jackpot!”–Mary Jane, Spider-Man.
83. “You don’t have to be a gun.”-Hogarth, The Iron Giant.
84. “Danger Will Robinson! Danger!” - Robbie the Robot, Lost in Space
85. “Yeah, well. The Dude abides.” - The Dude, The Big Lebowski
86. “All things serve the beam.” various instances, The Dark Tower series
87. “You can’t fool me! There ain’t no Sanity Clause!” - Chico Marx, A Night at the Opera
88. “Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.” - Harry Lime, The Third Man
89. “And I said, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I’m, I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they’ve moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels, and they were married, but then, they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn’t bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it’s not okay because if they take my stapler then I’ll set the building on fire…” - Milton Waddams, Office Space
90. “Michael, I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything that I thought it could be.” - Peter Gibbons, Office Space
91. “Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.” - John McClane (in writing), Die Hard
92. “Gimme some sugar, baby.” - Ash, Army of Darkness
93. “Well hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I’ve got news for you pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things, right now: Jack and sh*t… and Jack left town.” - Ash, Army of Darkness
94. “Kneel before Zod.” - Zod, Superman II
95. “Shall we play a game?” - Joshua, WarGames
96. “Daddy would have gotten us Uzis.” - Samantha, Night of the Comet
97. “It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.” “Hit it!” - Elwood, The Blues Brothers
98. “Make it so” / “Engage” - Captain Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation
99. “Ya Ta!” - Hiro Nakamura, Heroes
100. “End Of Line” - The MCP, TRON


Read More http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2010/01/100-quotes-every-geek-should-know/#ixzz0gfkGEA9V

5 Free Tools to Spring Clean Your Twitter Account

Remember that Hubspot statistic that revealed that almost 56 percent of Twitter accounts are not following anyone? Or the one from Harvard Business Review that stated that 10 percent of active Twitter users are responsible for 90 percent of all the tweets? If you have a Twitter account, the chances are good you've accumulated a sizeable number of deadbeat users.

Manually sifting through your followers to identify these users could take hours. That's why several sites have sprung up to help you take back control of your Twitter account. These sites scan your followers and generate a list identifying which ones haven't tweeted in a while so that you to remove them accordingly. Check out my top five picks for free sites that help you efficiently restore order to your account.

1. ManageTwitter.

With ManageTwitter you're able to sort your Twitter contacts based on who's inactive, who tweets more than five times a day and who tweet less than once a day. You can further subdivide these lists based on the date you began following someone, their username, number of followers or their time zone. ManageTwitter also features a mass select and deselect action for unfollowing users.

2. Tweepi.

Tweepi's "Cleanup" tool gives you five options for organizing the people you follow on Twitter. You can sort according to which of your followers are most active, which are most influential, how frequently they retweet others, how often they engage in discussions (measured by their number of @replies), and their follower-to-following ratio. Tweepi also lets users weed out "linkless ramblings." In this manner, you can select which users you want to follow back or unfollow entirely.

3. TweetSpinner.

TweetSpinner offers a wealth of functionality. Its Direct Message inbox tool finds and archives messages older than seven days and searches your inbox for spam (something I wish Twitter would implement on its site). TweetSpinner's follower manager targets particular audiences you might be interested in following as well as followers you might wish to ditch. The service also offers a profile rotator and a tweet scheduler. Some of TweetSpinner's features can be customized, though customization may require a paid membership. To use TweetSpinner, you need to register with the site and allow it to access your Twitter account.

4. Twerp Scan.

Twerp Scan helps you manage your followers and the contacts you're following. Allow the site access to your Twitter account and it will generate a report detailing for each contact how many followers they have, how many people they're following, their follower-to-following ratio, their number of tweets and the date of their last tweet. You can sort your contacts based on any of these characteristics, and by clicking a box, you can either mass follow, delete or block them.

5. UnTweeps.

UnTweeps is a basic tool that hooks into your Twitter account. It gives you three options: You can view the people you follow who haven't updated their status in 30 days (or any time period you choose); you can generate a list of followers based their days of inactivity; and you can view the Twitter accounts that you have blocked. You can then unfollow certain accounts accordingly.

Staff Writer Kristin Burnham covers consumer Web and social technologies for CIO.com. She writes frequently on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and Google. You can follow her on Twitter: @kmburnham.

Read more about web 2.0 in CIO's Web 2.0 Drilldown.

14 Reasons I Won’t Follow You On Twitter [Revisited]

With a sudden flurry of tweets and blog comments for my original post of the same name over at my Executive Resume Branding blog, I decided to take a second look at my “won’t follow” criteria four months later.

Let me first say that these are not hard and fast rules that I even follow myself all the time, so I don’t mean to imply that you should adhere to any of them.

Follow people based upon your own goals for communicating your personal brand and leveraging Twitter. If it’s important to you to have a huge following, then by all means follow back everyone who follows you and follow anyone new you come across.

But, if you feel you should be selective, consider my criteria to prompt your own list, depending upon your own purposes with Twitter.

Here’s my somewhat revised list of things that will keep me from following you, along with a few caveats and thoughts, followed by recent contributions from readers in their blog comments on the original post:

1. You have no photo.

Personal branding is about creating emotional connections. People are drawn more to tweets that are accompanied by the author’s photo. And a photo helps me know you’re a real person.

Don’t worry if you’re not good-looking. Like most people, I won’t judge you by how handsome or pretty you are. Choose an appealing photo that strikes the right image and professional tone for your industry and niche.

When it comes down to it, even a poor quality photo of yourself is better than none.

2. You have no Twitter bio.

How can I know who you are, what you have to offer, and whether we may be able to help each other?

I have to admit though, that I will follow people without photos or a bio, based upon the company they keep. If you’re following a lot of people I know and respect, who are in my sphere, I’ll probably follow you anyway.

3. Your bio and tweets are loaded with glaring typos or grammatical errors or don’t make sense to me.

I do make allowances sometimes though, especially if it appears that English is not your first language.

4. Your bio is loaded with unrealistic claims about yourself or your company.

The tweets of these Tweeple usually follow suit, with promises of making easy cash, getting whiter teeth in minutes, etc. YAWN!

5. Your profile has no link to further info about you.

I want to know who you are and if you’re legitimate.

6. Your tweets are mostly chit chat that doesn’t interest me, or teach me anything, or inspire me.

Another big YAWN! But that’s just me. I know lots of people who do very well meeting their own Twitter goals and connecting with lots of people in this way.

7. Your tweets consistently pound me with self-promoting blog posts and information.

If you have to talk about yourself all the time, you’re probably not that great.

8. I really don’t like your politics.

I generally shy away from politics all together on social networks, except if it’s an issue very near and dear to my heart.

9. Your niche and tweets are completely unrelated to mine.

I usually stay within my own sphere. But I’ll pretty much follow anyone who RTs me, especially if it’s a blog post I’ve written. I greatly appreciate it when people take the time to read (hopefully!) my posts and RT me. Heck, just like everyone else, I love a pat on the back.

10. Your tweets tell me over and over that I can get 1,000 new Twitter followers a day if I follow your simple rules or buy something from you.

I doubt that the people you’re going to help me find are those I want to have follow me.

11. You haven’t tweeted in, say, over a month or so.

This isn’t terribly important, but I have to wonder about you. And I can’t get much of a feel for who you are with such infrequent tweets.

A big exception to this is if you’re someone who’s obviously struggling with getting a handle on Twitter and you’ve just started following me. I figure, maybe watching someone like me, who’s fairly active on Twitter, will be encouraging and help you get a feel for what you can do with Twitter.

12. You follow and are followed by hundreds or thousands, but you’ve only tweeted maybe a dozen times all together.

This is suspect to me. You’re not using Twitter the way I do, so we’re probably not a good follow fit.

13. Your profile in any way smacks of spam, pornography, violence, or anything against my sensibilities.

I don’t care if you RT every one of my tweets, I’m not interested in aligning myself with you or your world.

14. A lot of the people you follow are shady, as in #13.

I do pay attention to the company you keep. Following these kinds of Tweeple means that you follow back everyone who follows you, or you practice that kind of tweeting yourself, or both.